Why do we care so much about the opinions of others, even those who are only strangers?
We can analyze each look and word that comes to us looking for clues indicating that we have been judged positively or negatively. We always give priority to others, which leaves us open to being exploited and belittled. We are not expressing our true nature, we are losing the connection with our deep essence.
We get tired trying to be pretty cool with friends, hard at work, attractive enough with a partner or, in general, to be successful enough to feel valued by others.
Feeling accepted is an almost universal human desire. After all, we evolved into a group to survive better. We must then gain the trust and respect of our peers.
The need for belonging is in our DNA. But sometimes that need is central and what others think of us is more important than what we think of ourselves. We accept the status quo because everyone around us does it. Our actions, appearances and lives are shaped by the way we think others perceive us. What would my colleagues think if I spoke? Do these people speak behind my back? If I do this job, what will my friends and family think? Today we will get to the bottom of things.
Today is the last day we lead a life dictated by others.
The only reason we care about what others think about us is because we give them the power to define who we are… probably because we do not know each other enough and do not understand ourselves… The lack of self-confidence stems from a deep conviction that we are not good enough. Our beliefs about our self-esteem may have been influenced by past experience, the way we were raised, or how we were conditioned and programmed by our outside world. In both cases, our current level of trust is determined by this deeper belief system we have about ourselves.
When we awaken to nature, to discover our true potential and connect with our higher self, we can see the world from a much higher angle.
“You refocus, understand what’s important to you, love yourself and what you really want to do. ”
Building trust is an internal job and is not about relying on the compliments of others to feel better about yourself. It’s not about being popular and appreciated either. The foundation of true and lasting trust is deeply rooted in the interior. When you feel good indoors, you will be magnetic, dynamic and radiant outdoors, no matter what your situation, physical appearance, traits and skills, or your position in society.
Here are 7 advice to stop worrying about what people think:
1. Get to know yourself.
What do you really like? What do you really want? Do you make choices about your career, relationships and hobbies because you want them or because they will please or impress others?
Allow yourself to try new things and ask yourself, “What could I pursue or appreciate if I were not so worried about being judged?
An exercise you can do to reconnect with your inner beauty is to name 10 qualities that you love and are proud of, 5 reasons you are really good, and 3 ways you have been serving others.
2. Let go, you do not have to be perfect.
If you overvalue the opinion others, you become obsessed with perfection and all that others want you to be. This creates a disconnect from your true self, which can lead to stress, anxiety, isolation and even depression.
It can be hard not to feel that if you succeed, you will be loved and admired. But it’s an unsuccessful pursuit, not only because perfection is an illusion, but because what people think of you has more to do with them than with you.
3. Keep things in perspective.
People are said to care less about what others think of them if they know how much others think about them. And it’s true: everyone already has enough to occupy his mind and also has his own insecurities.
If you’re worried about the way someone you’ve just met thinks of you, keep in mind that he is probably doing same thing.
4. Connect with people who help you remember who you really are.
Find your tribe. Somewhere, there are people who can relate to you and appreciate who you are. Do not waste time trying to hang on to those who expect you to comply with their wishes and desires. Cultivate authenticity and find out who you are supposed to be with.
Because true belonging only happens when we present to the world our authentic and imperfect identity. Our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance.
5. Question your thoughts.
We tend to have negative thought patterns that can affect our mood or behavior. For example, we can assume the worst, or filter the good in a situation and pay attention only to the bad. Or we can generalize too much or jump to conclusions.
Pay attention to your thoughts and question them, you can discover that what annoys you only exists in your mind.
6. Allow yourself to be vulnerable.
It can be terrifying to go against the tide, speak up, run a risk, or be disapproved. But decide what matters to you, trust yourself and go for it. We do not grow up playing always safe; we grow by allowing ourselves to take a chance to fail.
7. Be your own friend.
It’s a harsh reality, but you will never be able to make everyone love you, no matter what you do. Look on the bright side: no one else can do it either.
So accept the conflicts that will inevitably occur when you realize that you have not established a connection with someone, and focus instead on a goal that will lead you to the kind of person you want to be: learn from yourself!