It is not a very easy thing to recognize, but many people in a relationship or otherwise engage in gaslighting. The name comes from the 1944 movie titled ‘Gaslight’, where one person convinces another that they should not trust themselves.
It is a form of emotional abuse where you are made to believe that you are always wrong. Gaslighting occurs when a person says “You are crazy” or begins to create/make up a situation to falsify you.
You start to second guess yourself, you feel that you really see things and start to trust others more than yourself. It is one of the worst types of emotional abuse. While this is not an easy thing to identify, there are signs that gaslighting is taking place.
Here are the red flags that you should pay attention to:
1. Your partner denies having done something you know very well they have:
Gaslighting starts with confusion and the best way to confuse others is to lie to them. The first thing a person does is to say that you are wrong even if you have personally witnessed something.
This happens especially when you have no physical evidence but are only an eyewitness. They will tell you that you are wrong and will formulate a believable story proving that you are wrong. This will put you in a feeling of constant self-delusion before you know it.
2. Your partner makes you feel guilty:
If you are in a relationship with one, a gaslighter will always twist a story and making you say “Sorry” several times. You will not hear any apologies from them.
You will be the one at fault in everything and only you will apologize. This creates a guilt mentality, which the gaslighter wants.
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3. Your partner begins ghosting:
Ghosting is another tactic used by a gaslighter. Once you bring up something, they step aside. They will not recognize you even if you are in front of them, or they will avoid you on purpose.
Once they start doing it, your feeling of guilt starts to become stronger. You start to think that bringing up the subject was wrong. By disturbing you and turning you away, the gaslighter gets the advantage over you.
4. Your partner wrongly accuses you of having mental issues:
The gaslighter will also make you bear the blame and start making you question yourself. At some point, it becomes so much that you will doubt yourself and your sanity.
They will make you feel like you are too sensitive and therefore are throwing tantrums all the time. You will begin to lose your ability to make decisions on important matters. It is in this moment that they have total control over you.
If you don’t leave a gaslighter at the right time, you will end up having your mental and physical health harmed. If your partner shows all of these signs, start questioning your relationship. It may not be the right match for you.
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